26/07/2011

My A-Z of Twitter. Part Ten.

R is for RAGE!
BECAUSE FOR SOMETIMES PEOPLE ON TWITTER GET UNREASONABLY ANGRY!!! USUALLY OVER THE SMALLEST, MOST INSIGNIFICANT THINGS! USUALLY TARGETING ONE PERSON AND THEIR VIEWS, MAYBE FROM ONE TWEET OR IN A WORST CASE, A REPLY OR RETWEET!
AND IT'S CONTAGIOUS TOO! BUT IT DOESN'T COUNT AS BULLYING BECAUSE THESE ANGRY PEOPLE ARE JUST SO ANGRY THAT THEY THINK THEY ARE JUSTIFIED IN GETTING A MOB OF FURIOUS PEOPLE TO SHOUT AND ABUSE ONE PERSON! JUST RARRRRRRRGH! AND SUCH NONSENSE!

Twitter Rage sucks. Calm the fuck down. Your bonkers rage just makes me give even less of a shit.


20/07/2011

My A-Z of Twitter. Part Nine.

P is for Procrastination.
I was gonna write about how twitter is such a good way of actually not doing anything, but then I got distracted by people tweeting P words, I had to Google various words for their meaning (Prestidigitation, Polyamorous, Pericabobulation) and then I had to check who.unfollowed.me to see who had just unfollowed me (I'm guessing because I retweeting a joke that used the C word. Don't really know why people have such a problem with that word. Maybe if they called folk a flappy dry one then it'd be a valid insult, but otherwise its just naming folk about one of the most useful bits of a lady).
Oh, and that took me a few more minutes so then I had to check my replies, more P words. Then I had to tell them to stop. Then I had a fishermen's friend. Then I got to the end of this sentence and realised that there are more replies waiting for me. Back in a second.

Sorry, where was i? Procrastination? Yeah, twitter's good at that.

Q is for Quality over Quantity.
Or vice versa.

Anyone that uses this argument when you say you need more followers clearly thinks they are better than you, and think that you are following them purely to read their tweets about their new kitchen renovation, rather than just out of politeness because they followed you a about a year ago.
You are awesome, you deserve more followers.
Tell them to shut up.
Oh, and go for the black marble work surface, its so much better for chopping carrots on.