F is for #ff.
It's Friday. You've got a fair few followers who you think deserve a larger audience. What do you do? You do a #followfriday or #ff tweet for them. But wait! Everyone else on Twitter is doing the same! Crikey! How do you get your tweet noticed and your pals followed?
Do you get all your friends names in a big list and send it as one messy looking tweet? Y'know, like this...
#ff @fudgecrumpet @mrsfudgecrumpet @cagglefrap @splashman @stefano3 @thewillt @stueymac71 @treagie
...no, wait, no-one's going to read that are they? It's just a messy lump of non-words... How about doing this instead...
#ff @cagglefrap, he is dead cool and has a massive willy and is funny and has nice hair.
...yeah, that's better, not only is it personal about that tweeter (my spare account for when I want to swear about Keith Chegwin, since he blocked my main account) but it also gives people a reason to follow. It's much more likely to work and much less likely to look like you're just randomly copying and pasting a list.
The number of #ff tweets one does is important too. Sure, just doing five or six of your favourites is going to annoy some of your casual pals, but isn't that preferrable to doing a hundred and fifty people? No-one's going to follow all of them, and you're just gonna end up looking like a spammer. Also, on a more geeky moment, if you do more than 50 #ff tweets, you don't count as a recommendation on various followfriday ranking sites and that's no good for your mates if they wanna get the extra pimp that comes from that.
Oh, and keep your #ff tweets entertaining, then folk will read them. In my case, I just go balls out and make shit up. It works though, gets folk followed, and gets the conversation flowing as they try desperately to deny having a fourteen inch long penis. Oh, wait... no, i doubt they'd deny that. Well, unless they were a girl.
And one last thing on the subject, unless it's a funny, entertaining or fantastic tweet, don't go retweeting the #ff tweets you receive, even with 'thanks' tagged on the end. Makes you look like a right self-fellating pillock. Just saying.
Oh, and while we're on the letter F (and because we briefly touched on self-fellating)...