24/08/2009

introducing fdgtxt!

you're all probably familiar with txtspk, irritatingly unpronouncable acronyms that mean something like Laugh Out Loud and such. Well, let me just tell you... All the definitions you know are wrong.
Here is the semi-definitive guide to fdgtxt. Enjoy and learn...

ASL - Anal Saliva Leakage (always an issue...)
ATM - Anthony Trent Mencolo (inventor of the carpet 1422-74)
BRB - Big Ruddy Boobies
BBL - Big Boobed Lady
BBS - Big Boobs? Splendid!
BBF - Big Boobed Friend
BBFL - Big Boobed Foreign Lady
BMBL - Big Man-Boobed Lad
BTW - Boobs To Wobble (used in a similar manner, and to similar effect as 'phasers to stun')
CBA - Cuddle Baby Arnold
DW - Drown William
FOCL - Find Out Colin's Length
FYI - French Yawn (Inward) (as opposed to a spanish outward yawn)
GTFO - Get The First Orange
GTG - Get The Gun
HRU - His Royal Ugliness
IDK - Inside Donald's Kidney
IRC - Intelligent Robot Condom
JJ - Jolly Jelly
JK - Jolly Kelly
LOL - Lazy Old Lesbian
LMAO - Look! My Arse 'Ole!
LMFAO - Look! My Festering Arse 'Ole!
NM - Nutty Moron
NP - Nutty Pillock
OMG - Oooh Marmite! Good!
PPL - Percy Plays Ludo
ROFL - Revenge Of Francis Leonard
ROFLMAO - Revenge Of Francis Leonard Means Armageddon. Oh.
STFU - Shhh, Tits, Fanny, Understand? (used when your missus tries starting a conversation instead of performing her kinky woman duties)
SOB - Silly Orange Balloon (used to describe overweight people who use too much fake tan)
TTFN - Toot Toot! Funky Nipples!
TBH - Trendy Bum Hug
WTF - Where's The Fridge?

...So now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

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