Fudge on Wikipedia

In my continued efforts to #getfudgefamous, I decided to feed my rather hungry ego and shove myself on wikipedia. Yes, I am that bored today.
Anyway, effort number one got deleted by the wiki mods, because it failed to explain the reason for my existance. Crap. Effort two got deleted because it was 'patent nonsense', which I suppose is quite complimentary.
Anyway, effort number three is now online, in a slightly less mod-tempting place here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/user:fudgecrumpet
feel free to contribute as much as you'd like to it, as long as you're honest, and not too mean.

My Day Off

I took a 24 hour (forced, by the missus) break from Twitter. Here is what I did...

Saturday 9pm...
Said bye bye to the twitterfolk, checked replies to see if anyone said I had a fat arse.

Saturday 9.30pm- Sunday 1am...
Played Batman Arkham Asylum for much too long. Had a little wee in my pants as the Scarecrow scared me.

Sunday 1am - 8.15am...
Sleep (sofa, because pregnant ladies sleep like diagonal starfish)

Sunday 8.15am...

Woken up by Jess, managed to get an hour extra snooze by distracting her with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on UMD.

Sunday 9.15am...

Gem gets out of bed and opens the back door, thereby freezing me off the sofa.

Sunday 10.30am...

Made breakfast. For Gem, Toast and Fruit Salad; For Jess, Sausage Sandwich with coleslaw, For me Sausage Sandwich. Mmmm sozijj.

Sunday 11am-7pm...

Mostly boredom, interrupted by packets of quavers, downloading pointless free apps from the ovi store for my phone, and sneakily checking facebook to see if anyone replied to my status. Facebook is so bloody terrible for people who crave instant attention.

Sunday 7pm...

Did some drawings, nothing special. Got shouted at by the missus for ignoring her and jess. Even though they were in the other room and busy.

Sunday 8pm...

Missus goes for her bath, I am extremely tempted to go back on twitter, but manage to resist. Play Arkham Asylum again, impressed by Poison Ivy's naked bottom.

Sunday 8.45pm...

Missus suggests we burn old receipts. I like fire. MMMmmmm Burn.

Sunday 9.08pm...

Back on twitter, eight minutes late. Everyone says hello, and no I haven't missed anything.



introducing fdgtxt!

you're all probably familiar with txtspk, irritatingly unpronouncable acronyms that mean something like Laugh Out Loud and such. Well, let me just tell you... All the definitions you know are wrong.
Here is the semi-definitive guide to fdgtxt. Enjoy and learn...

ASL - Anal Saliva Leakage (always an issue...)
ATM - Anthony Trent Mencolo (inventor of the carpet 1422-74)
BRB - Big Ruddy Boobies
BBL - Big Boobed Lady
BBS - Big Boobs? Splendid!
BBF - Big Boobed Friend
BBFL - Big Boobed Foreign Lady
BMBL - Big Man-Boobed Lad
BTW - Boobs To Wobble (used in a similar manner, and to similar effect as 'phasers to stun')
CBA - Cuddle Baby Arnold
DW - Drown William
FOCL - Find Out Colin's Length
FYI - French Yawn (Inward) (as opposed to a spanish outward yawn)
GTFO - Get The First Orange
GTG - Get The Gun
HRU - His Royal Ugliness
IDK - Inside Donald's Kidney
IRC - Intelligent Robot Condom
JJ - Jolly Jelly
JK - Jolly Kelly
LOL - Lazy Old Lesbian
LMAO - Look! My Arse 'Ole!
LMFAO - Look! My Festering Arse 'Ole!
NM - Nutty Moron
NP - Nutty Pillock
OMG - Oooh Marmite! Good!
PPL - Percy Plays Ludo
ROFL - Revenge Of Francis Leonard
ROFLMAO - Revenge Of Francis Leonard Means Armageddon. Oh.
STFU - Shhh, Tits, Fanny, Understand? (used when your missus tries starting a conversation instead of performing her kinky woman duties)
SOB - Silly Orange Balloon (used to describe overweight people who use too much fake tan)
TTFN - Toot Toot! Funky Nipples!
TBH - Trendy Bum Hug
WTF - Where's The Fridge?

...So now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

more shoddy blog

back again, hello. *waves*
Right then, more random brain leakage...
Saturday night telly, how bloody rubbish. Frigging x-factor is back on, doing exactly the same thing but with a different background, like chuckie egg 2, only with less eggs and slightly better graphics. The singing, if it can be called that, is obviously some kind of sonic paralysis inducer like off of Iron Man, a fact that works to itv's advantage by forcing people to sit there and endure The Cube. A mixture of nintendo ds game, who wants to be a millionaire and the crystal maze, with a female cobra commander/stig hybrid that doesn't seem to do anything. The program basically consists of phillip schofield feeling sorry for people who do nothing to challenge idiotic stereotypes.
And then, you're forced to watch Big Brother on channel 4, because the missus won't go to bed and let you play ps3 games. As far as i can tell, a man comprised completely of sideburn looks like he'll win. They should burn that house down and see who's willing to piss on the burning remains. That'd get ratings...

a rambling bit of crusty bloggage

No fancy videos or anything today, just me wasting a few minutes typing aimlessly with the hope that something interesting emerged. My blogging brain is the equivalent of the 100 monkeys with a typewriter analogy, except with less shit-flinging.
Getting me world domination via getting me on telly has hit a slight hiccup, whereby gem won't let me audition for mtv's new dancing/stripping show. Just because I can't dance, and that showing off my moobs on tv would be immensley embarrassing. Sheesh, if jesus gave up because his missus told him he'd look a bit of a twat in a beard, we'd never have had Life of Brian.
Am going to write to Whiskas in a bit to ask why they don't do mouse flavour cat food. Only reason i can think they wouldn't is that the cat might feel it has to share it with it's owner. Mitzy thought we wanted to share her mouse on saturday then spent the rest of the day sulking when i threw the remains in the bin.
Ooh bugger i gotta do some work... Back in a bit for more rambleness...


my first video blog. Er...

well, i said i'd give video blogging a go... And this is my first attempt. I think i did quite well...

...yes, i definitely did dead good with that.

Or maybe first-blog-nerves got to me... maybe.

Will do better next time. Possibly.

Get Fudge On TV Phase One

As part of my world domination plans, I have decided to infiltrate the media...

Step one. Get myself mentioned on telly...
Actually quite easy, as there are an incredible amount of celebrities on Twitter, eager to point out on their TV shows that they are cool and use Twitter.
So, here is my mention by the lovely Mark Ryes on Bid.tv...

(don't know if that'll work, it's my first time embedding a video)

Anyway, first bid.tv, next... the World! or maybe channel 5.